Naturally Frustrating
by Sasha-marie-d
Summary: Spin off of Aowalison's Nature vs Nurture, regarding Sam and Leah's relationship and how they came to be together. This story is being beta read by Aowalison and stays true to the world she created in NvN. So if you haven't read NvN you should.


This is going to be a Sam and Leah story based off of Nature vs Nurture by Aowalision. If you haven't read it I suggest you do before you read this one since there will be references to NvN. Plus it's just a great story all around.

I want to thank Aowalison for agreeing to Beta this and especially for letting me rip off her amazing character personalities from NvN.

I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I am writing this.

I don't own anything Twilight.

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**Preface**

The house was quiet for a change, and for that I was thankful. I needed to be alone with myself if I was going to go through with my plan- I'd told Bella that I had decided to stop phasing. When I heard myself say that, it was just as much a shock to me as it was to her.

I knew it was something I wanted and I desperately wanted to be a woman again but I just didn't know where to start.

"Hey Leah!" my baby brother said brightly and startling me at the same time.

"Hey kid, what are you doing home?" I asked.

"Came to grab some shorts," he replied pointing at his lower half. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I guess if we were normal bother and sister I would scream in horror at the sight of him naked, but being a werewolf, well I saw more of my little bother than a sister should. Reason number two to quit. I didn't want to damage my or my brothers psyche with all this nudity.

"Something the matter Lee?" Seth asked, sitting on the couch next to me. He was such a sweet kid. He held my hand waiting for me to answer and it was almost like before we had transformed.

Back before even Sam had transformed Seth and I always had a special relationship. My dad would joke that we were twins that just happen to be born several years apart. Seth is my brother and most importantly he's my best friend. Sure Bella was my best girlfriend but nobody understood me like my little brother. He was the only person to understand the pain that I felt in my heart. He understand because he was there with me the entire way. Through the good times and the bad, always holding my hand like he was doing right now.

I looked up into his innocent and beautiful eyes and saw myself reflected in them. I looked like I had been beaten and dragged through the mud, well... emotionally speaking, and he could see that I needed some sort of connection. He closed his eyes before he reached out and held me close to him. He always closed his eyes when he was being affectionate with me. He did it for my benefit so that the pack wouldn't see when I was having a weak moment. I laid my head on his shoulder for a minute, thankful that I had such a wonderful little bother.

"Seth do you remember before?"

"Before what?" he asked innocently. At that moment, just for a quick second, I hated him. For his innocence, his optimistic attitude, his cheerfulness. He was what I had been; the old me, the happy Leah. And I missed her. If he saw the hate in me, he didn't flinch. There was nothing that I could ever say or do that would make him turn his back on me.

"Before everything went to shit."

"Yes I remember. Why?"

"Wouldn't it be nice if none of this never happened and…" I didn't know how to finish the sentence, but Seth understood.

"Before all the wolf nonsense you mean, right? Yeah, for your sake I wish that," he said his eyes glazing over. I could tell he was thinking about how things were before. He snapped back to here and now and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"What do you think our lives would be like if all this madness hadn't happened?"

"Leah seriously, I don't know. If you want me to say that I see you married with Sam and with children, I wont," he laid looking at me square in the eyes. "Things happen, people change and you can't be living on 'what ifs.' You have to do the best you can with what you have."

"But the only thing I want the most is-"

"The the thing that you can't have," he finished for me. "Leah are you planning to do something?" he asked suspiciously.

"What?" I was shocked that he had picked up that something was off with me so quickly. I had just barely decided last night that I was going to quit.

"You're up to something, does it have to do with Sam?"

"No! My world doesn't revolve around Sam Uley!" I tore myself away form him and sat on the coffee table directly in front of him. I wanted so badly to hit him but he was the only person I couldn't bring myself to strike. The kid was good. Quitting being a wolf had everything to do with Sam. I wanted him out of my head and I wanted out of his. I couldn't be… me, if I was a wolf. If I couldn't have him, or us, I would have me all to myself I couldn't share any part with him anymore.

"I don't believe you Lee," he looked suspiciously at me. "But I understand of you don't want to tell me anything. Me being connected to Sam and all," he said tapping his head. "I don't have the discipline that you have to keep my thoughts all to myself. You'll tell me when you're ready." He got up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To Sam's house. I'm starving, I have patrol in a few hours, and I need food." He stood there just staring at me. After a moment his eyes widened a little as though he'd figured me out. "I'll miss running with you," he said before he walked out the door.

"Little shit," I whispered to myself. Sometimes it bugged me that Seth and I were so close. He could figure me out so quickly.

"I heard that!" he said, peeking his head in through the door. Stupid werewolf hearing. "Oh, Mom said to clean your room if you get a chance. She wants to donate all our stuff that we don't use or need anymore." He ducked out before my shoe could make contact with his head.

Grumbling, I turned my attention to the television set. Turning it off after flipping through all the channels that we had, I didn't want to sit there and watch other people's drama. Mine was more complicated and, well to be frank, more interesting. I headed up to my room since I might as well get a move on with the whole "cleaning my room deal" before I had my mother breathing down my neck.

Sitting on my bed, I looked around trying to decide where to start. My closet was a good place and I knew there had to be a ton of clothes that I had no hope of fitting into ever again. Thinking I might as well start from top to bottom, I reached for the boxes in the very back of the top shelf and pulled them down, realizing instantly what they were.

They contained all my memories of high school and I placed the boxes gently on my bed. I rubbed my hands over them slowly, trying to work up the nerve to take off the lids. Maybe if I opened them and spilled out all the contents bandaid style I could get over this much faster.

"One, two, THREE!" I counted out loud and dumped everything out. My high school mementos were scattered all over the bed and I picked up the first thing I could reach- a corsage. The corsage to my first high school dance. The one dance I went to solo. Seth had bought it for me because he didn't want me to feel awkward being the only girl there without one. Of course his intentions were innocent but it was embarrassing to tell my friends that I was wearing a corsage my little brother had given me.

I couldn't help but laugh at the memory. Seth had been through all my hardships with me and I was such a different person from back then. Now I wouldn't think twice about it. Now I would not be embarrassed. I placed the corsage back in the box, knowing that I couldn't get rid of that memory.

Next my hands found my yearbook. My freshman yearbook. It was the year my life changed... because I met him.

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This is just the preface. I hope to get more done after finals are over and done. For those who have never read my stories or know what kind of author I am, I just want to let you know that I'm a regular "updater!"


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